SUKMA to KOREA.

         Hi and assalamualaikum. It's July. Alhamdulillah for another month I'm entering. :) That is one picture of me with my roommates as a volunteer for Sukan Malaysia (SUKMA). We started at 29th June and just end it yesterday, 3rd of July. In this short period of time, a lot of things happened. :) Which somehow make me happy as I made it into creating beautiful memories. :D On our first day, we're just registering and arranging stuff. Oh, by the way, we're in charge of gymnastic. Wee~ *there's a lot of guys with six packs though* Coincidentally, our first day is the same day for the Final FA cup. TRW vs JDT. And of course, I am a JDT fan. Though we're lost to TRW, but it's okay. There were a really big crowd there. It was my first time watching football around the stadium area. Here are some pictures. :)

*TRW supporters*

*JDT fans*

*Even do this O_o*

*A giant screen placed outside of the stadium. The crowd was amazing!*

          Well, no other words is needed. I think, you can define it yourself. Not to forget, I did made a sticker on my face. Here is!

         Well, still proud of it. I am a Johorean and proud to be one. :) Watching the match with my roommates make it even more enjoyable. :)

        So, moving on to the second day. This is the day when we really start our work. On that day, I became a secretary to the judge where I have to calculate the marks. Now I know how they made a point. Hihi. Most of the athletes are still on the high school. And one thing I found out, most of them are twins or siblings. Like seriously! Johor and Kelantan has twins in their team, siblings for Terengganu and Pahang. This is great man! I'll tell you more later on.~^^

         The next day, I became a 'sepanduk' holder for Pahang. There was only one contestant from Pahang. Seeing her being scold by the coaches made me felt terrible somehow. The athletes even cried if they do not perform well. The smile were so fake I can say.-___- Anyway, they did a good job. No one's perfect. Just sometimes, the way the coach is coaching make me feel 'that' way. Enough of that, this is me and my friends with the 'sepanduk'. :P

         Finally, we came to the end of the show.What I can say, I feel honored to be involved in this kind of program. I'm looking forward to another program like this. So, pictures. . . . ~

*the guys is missing*

*final men contestant*

*with Johor team*

*the twins I said earlier*

         Okay, about this twins. So, we're lucky to be in the same bus with them. I am actually. And I interrogated this twins somehow. Khairul and Khairil. They always make me confused. Khairul told me that they involved in this field since standard two. What did I do when I was in standard two? ? Hmm. Asking about his siblings, he told me that all of them are twins. 3 pairs of twins. It just WOW me! they're the last pair.  The first pair are guys and already married. Second pair, girls. Their mom has a twin too. How can they be so lucky ? Allah's power. On the last day, I were assigned to become a runner. There's an incident where I managed to say 'Good Luck' to Khairul from the judges desk quietly and he smiles back at me. Though he's only a Form 2 student, I found that these two siblings adorable. :)

         Basically, I've ended my career as a volunteer beautifully. LOL. And I'm already home by now. Apparently, two days left before I leave Malaysia. I don't know what to feel since it is my first time. My flight will be on 6th of July. I prepared nothing. -____- Friends, do pray for my safety. A bit nervous I can say. Hope all is well. :)

         Off topic. To you, I am sorry that I had to say goodbye. You were hurt because of me and I am hurting because of you. That is the reason why I am saying goodbye. Another reason is, cause I hate farewell without a proper goodbye. With or without me in your life make no difference. The moment you told your friend that I was a guy when we're on a phone call do really pissed me off. I can see that you're actually afraid to be frank about me to your friends. That is why I decided to go. Besides, you already have someone else. Someone better than me. I'm cutting off the connection and I'm sorry. Lets play it safe before it get worst. Till then, Farewell. 

*Faking a happy face while I'm not become an easy task for me*

Result.

#Projek 3R Result

"Greetings.

I am writing on behalf of Red Communications and we regret to inform you that you have not been selected for #Projek3R.

Although there is no way for me to lessen the disappointment, we would like to thank you for your participation in our search for the next generation of hosts and we appreciate the support you have given us."

         So, hi and assalamualaikum. This is the email I received last Friday regarding to the audition I joined. I don't know why but I automatically say Alhamdulillah after I know bout this. Weird isn't it? I should be upset somehow as I do not managed to go to the second round. But then, I light-heartedly thank Allah for this. Cause I believe, He know the best for me. :)

       So I told my Mom bout this and she said, "nevermind, Allah has a better plan for you. Who knows that you'll get the job offer at UPM." Yes, Mom was right. Who knows right? If that is Allah's will to give me the job, alhamdulillah. Always believe in Allah plans for us. :)

          Off topic. Last night, finally I knew how it feels when someone you like tell you the stories about someone he likes. It's hurting me. And finally, everything was cleared out. I have no one to be worried about. I am a heartbreaker and always be though I'm not asking for it. They have finally met the person who belong with them and I am happy for them. At last. . . . . . . Till then, Farewll~^^

Keluarga + Saya = Kehidupan

         

         

          Hai dan assalamualaikum. Lama dah tak menjengah mahupun menulis kat blog ni. Jadi, sementara ada masa ni, saya nak update sikit. :) Keluarga dan saya ? Well, pada saya, ini lah dua perkara penting dalam kehidupan saya, literally lah. Tak sangka ada yang rajin cek dan tengok blog saya walaupun dia bukan follower saya. Saya hargai kunjungan anda. Tapi tu lah masalahnya, dia hanya tahu kisah saya berdasarkan apa yang saya post sahaja. My friend, tak semua benda saya kena tulis kat dalam ni. Jadi, terserah awak untuk menilai.

          Back to topic, keluarga. Sedang-sedang naik motor dengan ayah boleh terfikir dan tersenyum sendiri. "Alhamdulillah Ya Allah kerana berikan aku sebuah keluarga yang cukup sederhana. Aku tak tahu apa aku akan jadi kalau aku dimewahkan dengan harta benda." We should be grateful for what we have. Everything of it. Saya rasa, kalau saya ni dilahirkan dalam keluarga yang berada, mesti pemalas terlebih dan mungkin tak berusaha bersungguh-sungguh untuk dapatkan apa yang saya nak. Setelah mengenali diri sendiri, saya bercakap atas dasar pengenalan diri saya. Kami diajar untuk berusaha dapatkan apa yang kami nak sendiri. In the end, family is the one who will help us out. So, saya bersyukur dengan siapa keluarga saya sekarang. :)

          Saya? Ada apa dengan saya? Ada banyak sangat yang terjadi. Let me give you a situation. What if ada seseorang ni tetiba datang dan minta duit kat you all cakap dia tengah memerlukannya? Dia minta no. fon you and kata nanti akan call you balik untuk pulangkan duit tu. Apa yang korang akan buat? Bagi pinjam duit tu kat dia or blah macam tu je? Ya, situasi ni memang kelihatan agak tak logik. Mungkin juga akan ada yang berprasangka bahawa dia tu penipu. Tapi cuba kita letakkan diri kita dalam tempat dia. Mesti korang akan paham perasaan tu. Perasaan memerlukan yang teramat sangat tapi tak ada siapa yang boleh menolong and end up terpaksa menebalkan muka untuk tegur orang secara random. Banyak kemungkinan yang akan timbul, saya tahu. Tapi, apa kata kita anggap ini sebagai satu ujian. Kalau dia bayar balik, alhamdulillah. Kalau tak, anggap je lah sedekah. Kan dah buat amal jariah tu. Dapat pahala, insya-Allah. But then! Kalau dia minta angka yang tak munasabah tu jangan la iakan kalau korang tak berkemampuan. Berpada-pada lah kata orang. . Sendiri mahu ingat okay?

         Ni gambar pagi tadi masa nak pergi interview untuk yayasan Sime Darby kat UPM. Dari Johor ke UPM dan pulang semula ke Johor. Penat tulang belakang kita. HAHA! Dah lah datang interview lambat, nasib baik masih sempat. Ramai orang yang memberi harapan, makin terbeban ha rasa bahu ni. Bukan apa, saya lagi rela kecewa sendiri daripada kecewakan orang lain jugak. Kalau boleh, memanglah nak dapat tajaan ni, tapi ada pros and cons juga. Hmmm, buatkan saya berfikir untuk beberapa ketika. Finally, come to this one decision. Kalau dapat, insya-Allah ini lah yang terbaik. Kalau tak dapat, Allah dah aturkan yang lebih baik. I'll believe it that way. :) Kalau orang yang betul kenal rapat dengan saya sepanjang saya di UPM, mereka akan tahu betapa sibuknya saya. Berkejar sana sini, tidur lewat, makan tak menentu, macam orang tak terurus pun ada dah. Tapi, saya suka macam tu. A busy life make me feel there's a life. :) Konklusinya, saya tak kisah jika terpaksa sibuk sepanjang sem pun. Cakap pasal sem, I just finish my first year guys. . ! ! Say hello to seniority, say hello to Second Year. :) 

         Now is the time. Akhirnya saya dah ada keberanian untuk menerusterangkan about my love life. It's over. Yes, O-V-E-R. He left me just like that, wouldn't pick up my call neither reply my messages. Pathetic isn't it? Saya tak tahu apa masalah dia atau apa yang dia tak puas hati, tapi tu lah yang terjadi. Bila ditanya pada abang dia, abang dia kata dia okay je. Baguslah, alhamdulillah dia okay je. Ingatkan dia sakit ke apa. Guys, listen to me. If you have problems, share it with your loved one, not running away from her. It's only hurting her. Up till now, saya telah ditinggalkan begitu sahaja selama lebih dua bulan. Sigh. Bodoh tak saya kalau saya masih mengharapkan dia? Ya, memang bodoh. Dah kena marah dengan kawan dah pun. Yang betul-betul tahu pasal ni pun roommate je. Mereka memang kawan terbaik. Walaupun sem depan kitorang dah berpecah, saya harap kitorang akan kekal in a good term. :') 

*Ain*Wana*Sibah*Sara*

         Rasanya ini je lah satu-satunya gambar yang menempatkan kami berempat secara serentak pada masa yang sama dalam gambar yang sama. Hew hew~ Dear roommates, saya tahu saya ni keras kepala sikit kadang-kadang, atau mungkin bersikap dingin. Tapi, sepanjang dua sem kita bersama, saya dah berubah. Kalau dulu mungkin saya tak boleh adapt lagi dengan sikap sesetengah orang, tapi sekarang, saya tak kisah dah. Thank you for always being there whenever I am in need of someone. Nanti kan kita jadi sukarelawan SUKMA sama-sama, so, FIGHTING! aku sayang korang sangat-sangat! ! ~^.^~ Gambar ni diambil sebelum saya pergi exam. Dan pada hari ini jugalah, buat pertama kalinya saya menaiki motor keluar dari UPM menuju ke MSN. Muahaha! Ni semua kerja gila bersama Sara. . HAHA!

        Atas, bawah, kiri, kanan. In the end, I'm always gonna be me. Walaupun banyak cabaran yang datang dalam usaha menempa kejayaan, sebenarnya, banyak lagi bantuan yang datang secara tersirat tanpa saya sedari. Bila duduk sendiri dan fikirkan semula apa yang berlaku, baru boleh nampak apa sebenarnya yang terjadi. Kenapa aku buat ni? Kalau aku tak buat benda tu. . . Nasib baik aku buat. . Kenapa mesti aku? ? Pertanyaan dan soalan yang kerap hadir dalam kehidupan seharian. Sekarang ni, saya cuba belajar untuk mengatakan, "Aku yakin ada hikmah disebalik semua ini." Ya, nampak mudah bila hanya bermain di bibir saat berbicara, tapi tak mudah melafazkannya sepenuh hati.

          Kehidupan. . . Saya sememangnya bersyukur dengan kehidupan saya yang sekarang ini. Walaupun begitu, masih ada lubang-lubang yang perlu ditampal dengan kejayaan. And I am working hard on achieving it. Mungkin orang nampak aku bersahaja, ketawa memanjang, friendly or whatever it is, but I am who I really am when I am alone. Tak susah nak senyum saat berduka, tapi susahnya nak percaya hati sedang terluka. Saya harap jalan kehidupan yang saya pilih ni ialah jalan terbaik. Pasal cinta, kalau sebelum ni boleh single selama dua tahun lepas patah hati, kali ni, mengapa tidak sampai habis degree, kan? Haha! okay lah, tu je untuk harini. I wish you all the best in your life and may Allah bless all of you. Amin. :) Wassalam.

Memories Never End~

          Hi and assalamualaikum guys. . .~ ! Okay, post kali ni biar bahasa rojak pulak as I have mixed feelings on writing it. HAHA! Harini dah 30 May 2013. Tadi lah jugak last day for all the classes of my second semester here in UPM. Dan harini juga lah tepat dua minggu lepas teater muzikal Les Miserabls selamat dipentaskan. Lot of things happened within this semester. Sweet, sour, bitter, joy and every feeling you can have. First, I would like to tell about my experiences in Les Miserables play.

          Actually, I joined this play accidentally. Went to the audition because of my friend and get chosen to be part of the cast. Though I am only playing minor role, I feel honored to get involved. At first, I was assigned as a Factory Woman. Then, throughout the training session, I were asked to be a beggar and also a student rebel. I accepted it with a light heart as I love theater so much! At first, I never thought it will be this meaningful to me. To be friend and close with them in the real life has never across my mind as I didn't know them and I've been too quiet throughout the training session. Until it come to our first full dress rehearsal. Only at that time I can feel that I am connected to them by chemistry. I even be more me at that time.  Haha. I love them after I get to know them. They were all crazy like me man! (might be even crazier) Haha. XD. The play once I thought would never be a successful play has successfully played. Well done all. Have nothing else to say other than I miss all of us. Here's the pictures~ !

*Factory Workers*

*flasyh Bishop (Taylor)*

*Me as beggar*

*Me as Student/Rebel (handsome isn't it?)*

*with my 'baby girl'*

*I like us*

*Cossette 1*

*

*Late dinner after Day 1 staging*

*Me with Little Cossette*

*Me with Javert (I like his voice)*

*with two policemen*

*Me and Valjean (Abadi)*

*cool me XP*

*With Enjolras (Fadzly)*

*with Geraldine*

*Me and this cute Korean (Peter)*

*our last huddle*

          Moving on to second topic, which is Rugby Touch! Percaya tak saya join rugby touch ni haa? Even jadi reserved je, training kaw kaw baq hang! sweating like hell after habis training. Masa masuk handball dulu pun tak macam ni. But, sweating makes me feel sexy. LOL. But, I do enjoy this sport. Join sebab roommate ajak. Hehe. Tapi memang teringin nak join pun dari last sem. Tak sangka dapat join betul-betul sem ni. Harap dapat join lagi. Dan sekarang, gambar lagi! :D

*my beloved roommate, Wana*

*I like this picture so much!*

          Benda ketiga ni, tak tahu lah nak reveal ke tak. Sebab benda tu tak pasti lagi. Tapi takpe, saya reveal sikit. 26hb lepas, saya ada pergi satu uji bakat ni, untuk jadi pengacara. Keputusan tak keluar lagi. Tapi harap-harap sangat dapat ke peringkat seterusnya. Terkejut juga actually bila dapat panggilan untuk pergi audition ni, tapi dengan kyakinan dan restu bersama sokongan, gagahkan diri pergi. Audition tu kat SSTwo Mall, Petaling Jaya. I went there alone. From UPM to KTM Serdang to KL Sentral to Taman Paramount to SSTwo Mall. From Bus to KTM to LRT and walking for like half an hour all by myself. Hari tu banyak sangat dugaan, tapi pada masa yang sama, saya rasa Allah menolong saya permudahkan urusan haritu. Alhamdulillah. Harap usaha saya ada hasilnya. Teringin sangat untuk taknak susahkan parents and family lagi. Kawan-kawan, doakan saya berjaya okay? ~^^ Terima kasih.

           Last thing yang saya nak bagitahu pada siapa yang membaca blog saya ni, saya akan ke Korea bukan Julai ni. . .! Yeay me! But for educational purpose actually. Nevertheless, it still Korea man! Me love it. Doakan semoga urusan saya dipermudahkan okay? Insya-Allah tersampai hasrat nak jejak kaki ke Korea selama ni. Hehe. Ada yang nak hantar saya kat airport tak? Haha! Just kidding.

          Kesimpulannya, saya dah crita benda yang dah lama sangat terpendam dalam hati ni. I may not be good with words, but I can express it well in writing. Kepada semua kawan-kawan saya di luar sana, semoga anda juga mendapat apa yang anda hajatkan dan insya-Allah berjaya dunia akhirat. Dah macam karangan kan? Harap korang tak bosan. Writing is my passion. 

Just Being Me. .~

          Hi and assalamualaikum. Hello May. Hello home. Hello guys. Yup! I'm home right now. Kluang, Johor. Me loving it. :D April has passed with lots of memories. . And they shall stay as memories. Well, it still early in May, so basically I have nothing much to write about. But one thing for sure, final exam is even nearer now. Too busy with my theaters thingy. Sigh. And yes! Currently joining my college team of rugby touch. Wehoo~! Looks exciting somehow. Joining it in sense of gaining experience. Pray that I'll do well ya?

          Actually, the urge of me writing this entry right now is not because I've been away for too long. But it's because I'm actually feeling somehow upset.I don't know who to blame. But I'm feeling that the biggest blame are there with me. I am a sensitive person. On the outside, I may seem strong, but every pieces of me is broken inside without anyone knowing. I asked her nicely, why did she raised her voice to me? And even more, to Mom? Why? Sis, behave! You're acting is making me upset and worried. When Me and Dad are away, did you really take a good care of the rest? Now you have my doubt. The reason wht I change my topic cause I don't want to make it even a bigger issue. Yeah I know you have problems, but everyone does! You're not the only one who have problem in this world. If you can't hold it in, why don't you share? What am I to you if I can't help you solve your problem? Am I that pointless to you? Am I nothing to you? Or you see me as a danger? I don't understand you my sis. As for me, being the eldest, I always hope that I could have a big sister or a big brother whom I can share my problem with. But I have none and you have me! I really can't understand you and I don't ever think I will. These things making my tears burst out! And I hate it! How can I even face this? I knew Mom's having fever when I can feel her hot cheek when I kissed her. But still, she denied it. Mom, I am really hoping that I could make you and Dad proud of me one day. I promise that I will try harder.

          I have problems too. But I set it aside and decide to become stronger for each new day. But then, there's always a time when I was left alone and all of those problems are coming to me at once. At that moment, I'm clueless as hell. I became like a two-years-old baby asking for her milk. I'm weak. But I try. Cause I believe. . . . . . . .

Till then, Farewell~