None of Yours. .

Hi and Assalamualaikum. .
Currently I am not really into any mood and that makes me want to write something. .
Suddenly, I was thinking about my late grandma after the Isya' prayer and this made me cry. .
Every time I think of her, my tears will fall down on the spot. .
This is because the feeling of being guilty towards her were still there, inside my hearts. .
Right at this moment, I just need someone to comfort me, which is my Mom. .
But apparently I have no enough credit to give her a call. .
And put the blame on those ATM machine which were not functioning for these past few days. .
I am a person who prefer to write down my feelings, rather then telling it to others. .
I did not convey it very well in a form of speaking as I might end up crying without even have a chance to talk. .
That's the reason why I am doing this entry right now. .
Right at this moment, I feel lonely. .
I want to cry out loud, but I can't . .
So I just let my tears fall down silently. .
that guilty feeling I bear, that I couldn't make to pay her a visit after I finished my foundation studies. .
How could I be so rude towards her when she kept thinking about me all the time?
How could I ? ?
Put the blame on me. .
Yeah, I know it's my fault of being too selfish although no one tell me this. .
She is my second Mom in this world. .
And now, I have nothing else to write. .
Let the tears calm me down. .
Nights all. .
Till then, Farewell~