Random

          Hi and Assalamualaikum. Hai guys. Don't even know if someone is reading this. Just posting out of boredom in the middle of the night. So yeah, we've entered 2015. *Yeaay* Increase in age numbers, getting older, shorter life and closer to death. Hmmmm. My resolution? Nothing in specific, but I'll just kept it alone. :)

         Love huh? Friends at my age are getting married, having cute babies and such. While me? I am still confused. If only heart was easier to handle, like having those switches, on and off. It could be simpler. But yeah, you wish, Ain. I just never have a really good love story that I can tell. I'm suck at being a lover. Or is it me that friendzone myself from everyone? I'm loving someone while liking the others. How can I control it? Loving someone whom I know have no possibility for us to end up together makes me gave a chance to someone I barely like. I am a traditional female dude. I still have fantasy on falling in love after getting married. While marriage is not a big deal for me, it somehow is to my Mom. "I'll just accept anyone who want to marry you if it'll be long" - Mom. Me? Confused.

          A lot that happened to me, I let go the good guy with having thinking they can't love me for real. I am no good with him. He's just too good for me. Am I making excuses to myself or I am just a fool in love thingy? Apart from that, I am just not ready to get married as I am afraid my children'll be like me. By having my bad attitude. I don't want that. I am still not ready to take care of another me. I am not strong enough. I've sinned a lot. I'm a sinner. I am just no good. Am I looking down too much on myself? Do I have no more trust in me? It always got me wonder. Do I deserve someone good or worse than me? How I wish to cut off these feelings. How I wish.....

          By writhing these, several name pop-up in my mind. Making me thinking, sinking into memories lane and getting hurt by myself. I should just stop. May this year teach me on how to be tougher. Hati Kering it is. Till then, farewell. Assalamualaikum. :)

Tentangmu

np : I really Don't Care // Demi Lovato

Rintih hati meruntun pedih,

Tanpa kau tahu air yang mengalir.

Kelopak mata menyaksi semua,

Pasang telinga terima derita.

Masa ku rasa kaku,

Berhenti menginjak dari paksi rajukmu,

Membuatku ragu,

Apa sebenar kemahuan rasamu.

Maju kau mundur,

Terlukaku hanyut,

Moga tak kendur,

Tali cinta berhikayat.

miszaein, 2014 Dec 20

H.I.K

np : Malaikat by Hazama

          Hai dan assalamualaikum. Lama dah Ain tak update blog.. ada lah sorang dua bertanya bila nak update. Maka, ini lah harinya pabila terdetik rasa hati nak menjengah blog sendiri, menaip tinta untuk tatapan. Gittew!

         Selalunya, hakikat manusia yang apabila terlalu banyak benda berlaku, sampai tak tahu nak cerita mana satu. End up clueless and speechless sebab you can't just let it out of your mind and rather keep it with a heavy heart. Well, currently applied to me.

          Jadi setelah diteliti kedalamannya, eloklah kita bercerita tentang ironi, hipokrasi atau kepura-puraan. Don't bluff me saying you never gone through this. I believe everyone do this. In fact, some of us do it every time, every day, to survive in this world. No matter how much love you have towards honesty, this just got to happen. To survive.

          Let me just tell me my story then. I used to be a good liar. But then I learned something. That no matter how much truth will hurt you, it is the best way you can live with. And it is what I am applying to my life currently. For being honest to the most of things I am saying. But then again, you should know that being secretive is another thing. Secret is someone's trust you have to keep. Mind that. After living with being honest for a long time, I am now unable to lie properly. Haha.

          I am a student but I am also worker. Those who're in my place can relate to this very closely I believe. In an organisation especially, people will never stop talking about someone else's back. Experienced it? Then you know. No matter how nice you are to them, there's always something about you that people want to talk about with someone else. Weird huh? Don't be. This is reality. A world live in by cruel heartless people. I somehow thank Allah for this opportunity to work while studying. You know why, cause it makes me ready to face real s**t that happen in an organisation. Inilah kepura-puraan. Hipokrasi.

          And being a communication student, I found it funny that we have the most miscommunication problems. Irony huh? Well, that's world people. These communication students sometimes think they are good enough to handle things on their own without seeking other people's help. And when it proven wrong, they gone quiet and talking bout others thing. This is so FUNNY. Ironically funny. As for me who didn't like to trouble others though others are throwing all the problems to me, I came up with a solution and solve it myself. This is the irony of people I am talking about.

          Dan kepura-puraan. Dalam kalangan kengkawan pun kau berpura-pura kekadang. Terpaksa. Jangan tipulah kata tak pernah. Kau terpaksa pura-pura sama ada sebab nak jaga hati dia atau taknak friendship korang hancur. Well, that's what I applied it for. Yang pura-pura sebab lain tu selalunya ada agenda tersembunyi and lebih baik ditinggalkan lah. Take it or leave it guys. Dan diri kita sendiri pun, kalau dah tahu apa yang tak elok, patutlah berubah. Don't be too drastic, but take it slow. Biar lambat asal selamat peeps. Use it the right way.

         Some people will never appreciate your presence no matter how much you do to ease them. And some other people just use your presence to the fullest for their benefit. I speak my heart peeps. I talk experiences. I might be young by age, but experiences are not measured by those digits. Just live your life to the fullest. Be good to your parents. Do good to others. Speak your heart out to someone if you're hurting. No one meant to be alone in this world. We're all paired up. It's either we gonna meet him/her here or hereafter. Thanks for reading. Wassalam. :)

        When you decided to make a decision, have a back up plan. :)

Throwback Aidilfitri

          np: Eyes, Nose, Lips // Lydia Paek

         Assalamualaikum dan hai semua. Dah lama gila kan Ain tak update blog ni. Last masa puasa rasanya, ke masa kerja. Haha, tak ingat. Okaylah, rasanya pada saat ini bulan Syawal telah officially melabuhkan tirainya. Jadi memang kenalah kan kalau tajuk entry Ain kalini ada throwback tu. =)

          Raya kalini, alhamdulillah ayah ada bersama pada raya pertama setelah dua tahun terpaksa bekerja pada raya pertama. *YEAY*. Dan Ain pun dah tak menangis masa melawat kubur arwah nenek kesayangan haritu. Mungkin hati ini dah mula redha dan lebih memahami. :) Okay, jom terjah sikit gambar-gambar raya pertama Ain dengan family. ~^^

*Sweet tak Parents Ain?*

*siblings*

*Dengan the only Atok and Makcik's family*

          

*And the whole family is here. YEAY*

           Dan itulah sekitar apa yang berlaku sewaktu raya pertama di Aidilfitri 2014. :D Jangan disangka Ain yang besar ni dah tak dapat duit raya ya? Ain masih layak selagi masih belajar. Ngeh ngeh. XP 

         Pada budak-budak UPM seangkatan dengan Ain, mesti dah tahu yang result keluar beberapa hari sebelum raya. Punya lah terkejut tengok ada satu F dalam result. Rupanya lecturer tak key in markah lagi. Pasrah. Setelah beberapa lama, hal tersebut telah pun dapat diselesaikan dan Ain dapat First Class untuk sem 4. Alhamdulillah. Berkat doa ibu ayah ni, yakin. Heee.

        Okay, tetiba dah rasa malas nak update pepanjang pula. Kat sini Ain nak bagitahu yang rabu ini, bersamaan 27hb Ogos 2014, Ain akan terbang ke Sarawak. Doakan keselamatan Ain dan rakan-rakan yang lain ya? Kitorang budak-budak YSD ni ada buat program Rejuvinasi Minda Menuju Kecemerlangan di UPM Kampus Bintulu, Sarawak. Alang-alang, melawat kampus kedua UPM, ye dak? Ihiks. Okaylah, nanti Ain updte lain. Mungkin lepas dah habis kem. Okay, kem ni habis 30hb nya nanti. Pray for us okay guys? 

p/s: tang now playing kat permulaan entry tu ialah lagu yang Ain tengan minat sekarang. Lagu asal oleh Tae Yang. Boleh tengok cover-cover yang dibuat oleh YG Family yang lain seperti Akdong Musician dan Tablo. Setakat ni, takda satu pun yang menghampakan Ain. Okay lah semua, tata. Wasalam~^^

Ain't About It

The love I ain't talking about,

the heartache is.

The mistakes I ain't complaining about,

the no effort is.

The past I ain't talking about,

the time is.

The understanding I ain't talking about,

the chemistry is.

Sometimes,

It ain't about the big deal,

But
the small thing you did,
the effort you shown,
the care you gave in.


I ain't asking you to be
My prince charming
My ideal guy
My gentleman


I wanted you to be you
With an addition of understanding me
And be US.


Please,
The heartache I am feeling is no kidding.