Memories Never End~

          Hi and assalamualaikum guys. . .~ ! Okay, post kali ni biar bahasa rojak pulak as I have mixed feelings on writing it. HAHA! Harini dah 30 May 2013. Tadi lah jugak last day for all the classes of my second semester here in UPM. Dan harini juga lah tepat dua minggu lepas teater muzikal Les Miserabls selamat dipentaskan. Lot of things happened within this semester. Sweet, sour, bitter, joy and every feeling you can have. First, I would like to tell about my experiences in Les Miserables play.

          Actually, I joined this play accidentally. Went to the audition because of my friend and get chosen to be part of the cast. Though I am only playing minor role, I feel honored to get involved. At first, I was assigned as a Factory Woman. Then, throughout the training session, I were asked to be a beggar and also a student rebel. I accepted it with a light heart as I love theater so much! At first, I never thought it will be this meaningful to me. To be friend and close with them in the real life has never across my mind as I didn't know them and I've been too quiet throughout the training session. Until it come to our first full dress rehearsal. Only at that time I can feel that I am connected to them by chemistry. I even be more me at that time.  Haha. I love them after I get to know them. They were all crazy like me man! (might be even crazier) Haha. XD. The play once I thought would never be a successful play has successfully played. Well done all. Have nothing else to say other than I miss all of us. Here's the pictures~ !

*Factory Workers*

*flasyh Bishop (Taylor)*

*Me as beggar*

*Me as Student/Rebel (handsome isn't it?)*

*with my 'baby girl'*

*I like us*

*Cossette 1*

*

*Late dinner after Day 1 staging*

*Me with Little Cossette*

*Me with Javert (I like his voice)*

*with two policemen*

*Me and Valjean (Abadi)*

*cool me XP*

*With Enjolras (Fadzly)*

*with Geraldine*

*Me and this cute Korean (Peter)*

*our last huddle*

          Moving on to second topic, which is Rugby Touch! Percaya tak saya join rugby touch ni haa? Even jadi reserved je, training kaw kaw baq hang! sweating like hell after habis training. Masa masuk handball dulu pun tak macam ni. But, sweating makes me feel sexy. LOL. But, I do enjoy this sport. Join sebab roommate ajak. Hehe. Tapi memang teringin nak join pun dari last sem. Tak sangka dapat join betul-betul sem ni. Harap dapat join lagi. Dan sekarang, gambar lagi! :D

*my beloved roommate, Wana*

*I like this picture so much!*

          Benda ketiga ni, tak tahu lah nak reveal ke tak. Sebab benda tu tak pasti lagi. Tapi takpe, saya reveal sikit. 26hb lepas, saya ada pergi satu uji bakat ni, untuk jadi pengacara. Keputusan tak keluar lagi. Tapi harap-harap sangat dapat ke peringkat seterusnya. Terkejut juga actually bila dapat panggilan untuk pergi audition ni, tapi dengan kyakinan dan restu bersama sokongan, gagahkan diri pergi. Audition tu kat SSTwo Mall, Petaling Jaya. I went there alone. From UPM to KTM Serdang to KL Sentral to Taman Paramount to SSTwo Mall. From Bus to KTM to LRT and walking for like half an hour all by myself. Hari tu banyak sangat dugaan, tapi pada masa yang sama, saya rasa Allah menolong saya permudahkan urusan haritu. Alhamdulillah. Harap usaha saya ada hasilnya. Teringin sangat untuk taknak susahkan parents and family lagi. Kawan-kawan, doakan saya berjaya okay? ~^^ Terima kasih.

           Last thing yang saya nak bagitahu pada siapa yang membaca blog saya ni, saya akan ke Korea bukan Julai ni. . .! Yeay me! But for educational purpose actually. Nevertheless, it still Korea man! Me love it. Doakan semoga urusan saya dipermudahkan okay? Insya-Allah tersampai hasrat nak jejak kaki ke Korea selama ni. Hehe. Ada yang nak hantar saya kat airport tak? Haha! Just kidding.

          Kesimpulannya, saya dah crita benda yang dah lama sangat terpendam dalam hati ni. I may not be good with words, but I can express it well in writing. Kepada semua kawan-kawan saya di luar sana, semoga anda juga mendapat apa yang anda hajatkan dan insya-Allah berjaya dunia akhirat. Dah macam karangan kan? Harap korang tak bosan. Writing is my passion. 

Just Being Me. .~

          Hi and assalamualaikum. Hello May. Hello home. Hello guys. Yup! I'm home right now. Kluang, Johor. Me loving it. :D April has passed with lots of memories. . And they shall stay as memories. Well, it still early in May, so basically I have nothing much to write about. But one thing for sure, final exam is even nearer now. Too busy with my theaters thingy. Sigh. And yes! Currently joining my college team of rugby touch. Wehoo~! Looks exciting somehow. Joining it in sense of gaining experience. Pray that I'll do well ya?

          Actually, the urge of me writing this entry right now is not because I've been away for too long. But it's because I'm actually feeling somehow upset.I don't know who to blame. But I'm feeling that the biggest blame are there with me. I am a sensitive person. On the outside, I may seem strong, but every pieces of me is broken inside without anyone knowing. I asked her nicely, why did she raised her voice to me? And even more, to Mom? Why? Sis, behave! You're acting is making me upset and worried. When Me and Dad are away, did you really take a good care of the rest? Now you have my doubt. The reason wht I change my topic cause I don't want to make it even a bigger issue. Yeah I know you have problems, but everyone does! You're not the only one who have problem in this world. If you can't hold it in, why don't you share? What am I to you if I can't help you solve your problem? Am I that pointless to you? Am I nothing to you? Or you see me as a danger? I don't understand you my sis. As for me, being the eldest, I always hope that I could have a big sister or a big brother whom I can share my problem with. But I have none and you have me! I really can't understand you and I don't ever think I will. These things making my tears burst out! And I hate it! How can I even face this? I knew Mom's having fever when I can feel her hot cheek when I kissed her. But still, she denied it. Mom, I am really hoping that I could make you and Dad proud of me one day. I promise that I will try harder.

          I have problems too. But I set it aside and decide to become stronger for each new day. But then, there's always a time when I was left alone and all of those problems are coming to me at once. At that moment, I'm clueless as hell. I became like a two-years-old baby asking for her milk. I'm weak. But I try. Cause I believe. . . . . . . .

Till then, Farewell~

Keep Holding On.

Though hard times come,

Though happiness is nowhere to be seen,

Keep holding on as you're in,

Cause rainbow will shine after the rain.

Love may hurt your feelings.

Love may turn you into a maniac.

Because love is the need of life.

And life has never been easy for us.

Keep holding on,

No matter how hard the life may seem,

No matter how much the love hurts,

Just keep holding on,

And believe,

Something better will come in the future.

It's Overrrrr~ ! ! ! !

         Assalamualaikum and hi to all. Yeah! Finally it's over! What was it? My theater for FESTIK 2013. It's over and I am satisfied enough with it. No more late night training after this. But somehow, I miss those moments. And i will miss it now till forever.! My first time wearing fake eyelashes, being make up like a bitch to suit my character and I'm feeling so not me at that time! Like a doll somehow. Wanna see? Here are. . . .

*a compilation of me*

*me as Ruby*

*with the director*

*Ruby and Adam*

*actresses*

*actors and actresses*

          All are those pictures I managed to take at that time. There are some more, but may it be only in my storage. ~^^ FESTIK is not over yet. The result will be out this 27th. Looking forward to it. Pray for us. :)

          And after that, just in favor of my seniors, I join this one program called RUBY. Like modelling show or something. Here is me. :)

          Arabic style! But I won nothing and I don't mind. :) Doing it just for fun somehow. :) Most of my make up were from my roommate, WANA!  Love her! with help with another roommate, SARAH. :)

          Those were my happy moments, but sad moment people can't see is still there. Last night, everything were revealed between me and him. It hurt me so much after knowing the truth. My instinct never lie! I just can't share this feeling with anyone cause I am scared of the outcomes. I only hope that Allah give us strength, give me courage so I can live this journey I had chosen. I am really feeling bad whenever I think about it and I can't show it. I really can't. Mom, I feel like hugging you so tightly right now. Myself is at 'war'. Part of me are so positive while the other part are so negative. Keep it balance Ya Allah. Just don't let the negative part of me overridden myself. I'm hoping for only that right now. Pray for our happiness my friends. Life, has never been easy to us. Till then, Farewell~

Happy April. ~^^

          Hi and assalamualaikum. Hey guys, it's April. .! Okay, what a late wish from me. . >.< Well, March has passed. What a hectic month I have there. And April is another new beginning for me. A happy one I can say. . Have nothing much to talk about regarding March, so, pictures will speak itself.

*actress and director*

*one of the picture I like*

*after joining a program at UKM*

*with the main actor*

          So, that was part of my March hectic month. Now, moving on to April. .  Awww, what a big smile I have whenever I came to think about it. . ^___^ Okay, let's start from the very start. 2nd April, I have this one friendship ring with her. . ~ ! And there is one person misunderstand her as a guy. LOL

*friendship without restrictions*

          And then, move on to 4th April. This is where one of the happiest moment of me started. He, which is now my boyfriend come fetched me at UPM along with his cousin, which is my friend. He decided to take me to meet his family and stay at his house for one night. I agreed. And, my family also know about this. At the moment he asked me to stay with his family, we're not a couple yet. He want to show me to his mother first, before we declare. And then, at 2.30 AM, 5th April, we declare each other as a couple, after I get an approval from his mother. Yeah, sound greasy, but he is one of the bravest man I've met. Those long awaited has been paid. We've known each other for more than a year. We've been through a lot. Suffered from losing him for several months. I've had enough. I want him to be my last love. The one and only one. My Mom seem to be liking him also, and I am glad to know that. Cause I believe in my Mom's choice and approval also. There was once when my Mom dislike this one ex of mine. Yeah, we've been together for almost two years, but what to do. Just then, I reflect myself back and thinking, maybe this is because I have no blessing from my mom. So, it's like, basically, we have blessing from both sides. Yeayy me. . May I have your prayer on our happiness too guys. . ? :D To reveal his picture with just me in here, not dare to do it yet. Maybe later on. But somehow, I've posted a picture of me with him on my instagram. . :D 

          Then, going back to Kluang on the 5th April. Manage to meet my Father before he's leaving for his work. Knowing that I'm going to Melaka again for 7th April, he said why don't you just stay there until then? My answer was, "cause I heard someone is sulking when he knew that I'm not going back." And it burst my laughter and the others. Though he keep denying it, we know the truth. I love you Dad. :*

          As what I mentioned before, I'm going to Melaka again on 7th April. This time, it was because of my assignment. I arrived at Melaka Sentral at 6.30pm on that day. Then my friend fetch me up with another friend to go have some fun! ! And guess what? He's coming with me. Yes! My boyfriend. :D That night, we went to lot of places such as Dataran Pahlawan, Menara Taming Sari, Jonker Street and Pantai Kota Laksamana. 

*Her. Me. Mustache*

*he's here somewhere.~^^*

*though it cost RM30, it's the memory which I treasure*

          To be honest, he is the opposite of what I've been dreaming a guy I would marry of. HAHA! Oh yes, love make you blind somehow. And that's the night. I love it whenever I get to talk, to chat, to see, to meet or even to dream of him. ~^^

          *it's 11th April now. Happy Birtday to one of my sisters, Nur Hafiszah Za'abar. Have a blast dear.*

           Next day, 8th April. We started our assignment on Baba Nyonya food. Me like it. I eat quite a lot. . Here are some pictures of it. . Weee~^^

*one of the Baba Nyonya Museum*

*Baba Nyonya's foods*

        I've thrown out all the bad feelings I have at that time by karaoke-ing! ! HAHA! Okay, that's it. Then, go back to Kluang. . .~^^ So yesterday, dating with my Mom. Well, it's a must for me to have a date with her whenever I get back to Kluang. So, pictures coming. . ~ ! ! !

*I heart my Mom*

*Me with striking blue jeans*

*Thanks to my pink phone for pinky day at BR today*

         So, that's all for today I guess. Looking forward for each new days. . Pray for my happiness with my beloved one. Till then, Farewell. . ~^^